I always check in with Mom when I get home from school - I sit on a stool at the kitchen counter and we chat. She said dinner would be ready in about an hour then asked how my day was. I told her a couple funny stories that happened and that I aced my trig exam, but all the while we talked, I kept thinking that all I wanted to do was go to my room and stranglebate. It’s an old thing with a new name.
Autoerotic asphyxiation - the best orgasms ever are the ones you have as you’re dying. The secret is not to die so you can do it over and over and I was pretty good at it - I started when I was fourteen.
It started with a deleted user video I saw on Tumblr. Her name was Lorren and she shared a video she called “stranglebate” but Tumblr removed it, saying it was against Tumblr policy. She then posted a link to it on her account on Darkstream - I had to sign up to see it. She was sitting in her car masturbating with her clothes still on as her boyfriend strangled her from behind. You can see the exact moment when she loses it - she starts to look confused, then panicky, then she loses consciousness.
When I first viewed it, it kind of freaked me out because she was making horrible throaty noises and I realized in that moment she was starting to die. Then I read her post in the comments;
“I was already horny, but when he tightened the belt around my throat it kicked up like 200%. I started seeing stars after a few seconds and my lower belly started bloating up like it does when I’m preorgasmic, then ‘whammo!’ I was cumming harder than I ever came before. I know it looks like I’m scared, but seriously - pure ecstasy - it only lasts a few seconds, but it feels like hours. Best fun you can have with your clothes on!”
That night I tried it by using my left hand to strangle my throat while I jilled off. The orgasm was good, but I came before I started to lose consciousness. I went back to Darkstream and joined the group Lorran started called - you guessed it; Stranglebate. I wanted to see what I did wrong.
I told mom that I was going to have a nap and headed to my room. I passed my sister and her friends who were chatting in the dining room, giving her a little smile and a wink. She smiled and winked back because she knows I like to masturbate after school - she caught me once.
I could still hear sis and friends when I closed my bedroom door and locked it; they were talking about college - good for them; starting to plan in grade nine.
The second video I watched was a girl who’s nick was ‘gudy2shews’. She’s younger than me and said she’s still a virgin. Like Lorran, she gets her boyfriend do her, and like Lorran she makes guttural horrible noises. She gets him to lay on top of her and dry hump her crotch as he pulls a cord tight around her neck, closing off her throat. She says her orgasms while she loses consciousness last forever when he does that to her, and when she wakes up she’s still horny so she throats his cock for him and lets him gag and choke her that way too.
I was jealous of those girls because they found boyfriends who would do that. My sometimes boyfriend, Vern is a churchy kind of kid, so I’ve never even talked about it with him. So I was stuck choking myself and masturbating - it felt really good, but not the intense orgasmic ecstasy the other girls talked about.
Fuck, I’d been dreaming about this all day. I could hear mom in the kitchen, my sister and her buds still talking, and even the little kids on the playground outside my open window. I don’t know why, but it turns me on so much to be aware of people around me doing ordinary things as I strangle myself and cum as I pass out. And when I come too, it makes me giggle to hear them so close and unaware of what I just did. It feels so adventurous.
What I really love is being watched while I do it, so like most of us on Stranglebate, I set up my phone and livestream it to my account, knowing that hundreds, sometimes thousands of people are watching me live, and thousands more will watch it later. I’d really like to do it in front of people who are in the same room, but no one lives near me who’s into it.
Back on Stranglebate, instead of just watching the latest videos, I clicked on ‘Categories’ and ‘Solo’ and my education began ...
Watching the solo girls the main thing I learned was to get the big orgasms you have to commit. You couldn’t just play at it - you had to actually be strangling to death.
One girl who was a beginner like me, went by ‘KC’, so I figure her name was Casey. She would sit with her bum on her heels on her bed and strangle herself with a leather belt. Poor thing had a sensitive gag reflex though, so as she was building to the big one, she’d start to sick up. But she kept at it, and one day it happened for her - she started to cum and heave at the same time. And if you think about it - you can’t breathe when you throw up, so it’s like a continuation of strangling.
On the vid where she made the grade, her stomach started gurgling loudly, and she pitched forward and gurgled “... cumming ...” then puked her way through a violent orgasm before she passed out face first into her own sick-up.
She got lots of congrats and cheers from other live members, including me - my nick was ‘wyldgrl’, (even though I was a rookie and wasn’t so wild yet). When KC came to and sat up dazed and confused - still livestreaming by the way - she slowly realized what had happened and saw all the attention she got from us. Even though her hair was matted to one side of her face by clotted barf, she smiled and waved at the camera.
I peel off my jeans and panties (I’ve ruined to many that I go naked from the waist down now) and get my cord and phone out of my daypack. The way I do it so my family doesn’t hear is to put my pillows in the well of my desk, prop the phone against them and livestream my session. My fans tell me that they like to watch me prepare.
I get a couple towels out of my laundry hamper and lay them on the floor in front of my desk to soak up what I leak (yeah, I know - it’s sometimes gross; grool and piss every time, and even runny poop sometimes). Then I tie the loose end of my cord around the back of my desk so it barely hangs down over the well.
I loop the noose part around my throat and kneel facing the camera and start to masturbate. I like to be super sexually primed before I start, because sometimes I start to pass out pretty quick. When I feel myself going, I work my pussy hard until I cum and things get super fuzzy, but I pay attention to my arms; I know when I’m about to go too far; my arms start going weak and numb, so I stop and push myself up and back so the noose loosens and falls off and I let go and flop onto the floor. And yeah, I’m still cumming when that happens. I watch my own vids and that’s when I do the chicken dance.
I slide two fingers into myself and am amazed at how oily and gaped my pussy already is - like I said, I’d been thinking about this all day, crossing my legs in class, doing my kegels and squeezing my thighs tight. Sometimes rocking one foot to get some friction going. I almost came in history class.
There was a couple times I was craving release and thought about going into a bathroom stall and jilling off, but I wanted to save it all - let it build until I could stranglebate.
It was watching Sable’s vids that taught me how to commit.
I noticed that most girls who were on Stranglebate kept their clothes on, (I did too - at least a top), but Sable is one of a few that stripped down. You don’t need to be naked to contribute your vids - it’s not about being a porn star, it’s about coming so close to death that you push past the terror of what is happening to you and surrender to orgasms that are a religious experience that consume your body as your soul starts to leave your body. Then coming back all shaky and weak and confused, but feeling so warm and good.
Sable went all in whenever she strangled herself. She made a noose in her cord and looped it through a ring bolted to her wall, then wound the free end around her right arm and slumped down on her loveseat. You could see how deep the cord bit into her throat as it pulled hard on her neck, bending her head to the side as she masturbated and lost it. Her eyes would cross, her body would shake and jerk. Sometimes she did the ‘chicken dance’ - going all spastic as she had her orgasms. The chicken dance is actually convulsions caused by an oxygen starved brain experiencing a seizure - but a sweet intense orgasmic seizure.
Watching Sable and other, I learned how to do it to myself. I learned the safe knots to use on the group forum; my cord has a tight bowline on one end and I make a loop through it so it won’t bind up on me. A lot of kids have used the wrong knots and passed out before they could undo the loop that had cinched tight around their throat - that’s how you die doing this.
My pussy is making loud squishy sounds as I work myself, curling my fingers to get at my g-spot. I can feel my orgasm building fast, so I lower my head until the noose tightens, then curl my body forward until half my body weight is on my throat. As I feel it tighten, I relax my neck muscles and my throat closes. A bit more weight and it’s locked tight. It’s so good - the noose is cinched high up, just above my gag reflex and I feel it slide up under my ear lobes, the loop pressed tight at the base of my skull.
I know that the pillows and my desk muffle the noises I am making so my sister won’t hear, but my phone is picking up my gagging, choking, and the squishy sounds of my wet pussy. My friends on Stranglebate say they loved the desperate sounds I make when I cum - and not to sound vain, when I watch my vids afterward, I get turned on too.
I feel my face swell and tighten as the blood pounds in my head and my mouth filled with drool. I am working myself hard but easing off when I feel my orgasm quivering in my lower belly - I want to keep myself right on that razor’s edge between horny and orgasm so when I start to lose consciousness I can let it rip, then push back and up before it takes me.
Oh god, it’s building so high and so fast. I can feel that this was going to be a big one. My thighs are quivering and weak, my lower belly is swelling like it does before a big one, my nipples are tingling like electricity is dancing over them. I think about easing up so I can gasp out to my fans how big this orgasm is going to be, but I am greedy and don’t want to stop, not even for a second. I want this orgasm and by the sensations building so fast inside me it feels like it is going to be the most powerful one yet. So I commit to strangling, to going to the edge of death and cumming hard. This was what it’s all about.
Getting dizzy now. Drool running from my open mouth in long tendrils. My pussy is wide open and dripping onto the towels as I hammer it with my two middle fingers. The thought that I am going to have to do laundry tonight flashes through my mind - I know I am making a mess and will probably make an even bigger one; when I come I’m going to piss myself, and even shit myself, and judging from the gurgling in my tummy, I might even puke up when I release the noose.
I’d given the heads-up to my sister last year when I knew she’d started exploring her body with fingers and her hairbrush while masturbating; she’d got boobs and hair on her mound and her room was starting to smell funky - a blend of pussy, piss, and greasy asshole. She confided that she liked fucking her pussy with her brush handle while fingering her anus. To avoid the embarrassment of Mom talking to her, I told her she needed to use a towel under her and do her laundry before her room started smelling like sweat, grool, and funky girl crotch.
I’d made that discovery a few years ago when I walked into my room one night and could smell every orgasm I’d had that week. Laundry and showers became an important part of my life.
Vision going dark.
Shaking bad - arms getting weak.
It’s not a regular orgasm that feels like an explosive release, this one has started and is building. How strong can it get?
The warning signs are there, but I don’t want to let this one go.
I lean forward more, the noose tightening.
Oh fuck, this is ecstasy.
I can’t stop ... I can’t.
My hand is getting spastic, fingers jerking in my pussy.
I feel my stomach convulse inside me and vomit rushes up my throat, blocked by the noose.
... oh fuck ... oh fuck ... oh fuck ...
I’m seeing flashes of bright colours, but still cumming ... cumming ... cumming ... asshole gapes ... belly muscles convulsing ... arms are numb ... orgasm is rolling hard ... body jerking, twitching ... my arms fall limp and useless and thump on the floor ... now ... have to sit up NOW ... knees sliding on the floor ... falling forward, belly hitting the floor ... all my weight on my throat ... oh mommy, I’m still cumming ... never felt this good before ... I ...
People take care of me, they’re strangers but I love them for taking care of me. They turn me because I can’t turn myself, change my bed with fresh crisp sheets, and turn my pillow to the cool side all the time. There’s a man who takes care of me when it’s dark outside, and I love him most.
There’s a little fan that blows on my face and I love that sensation.
I no can no longer swallow so the people feed me liquid through a little tube and I love the feeling of my tummy filling - it feels like magic. Sometimes the tube gets blocked and they push water through it and I love the sensation when it unblocks and I feel the cool water squirting in my tummy.
A woman visits me every day, sometimes I know it’s my Mom and other times I don’t know who she is. She talks to me and holds my hand. I want to squeeze her hand when she does this and when I know she’s my mom, but my body is weak and doesn’t move when I tell it to.
It’s at night when the man takes care of me that I feel the best. He opens my gown and lowers the bed and pushes his cock into my mouth and down my throat. I remember cocks from before. And when he fucks my throat I remember choking and gagging from before and how good it felt and how good it feels now.
He wears something on his cock that tastes like rubber. I remember cocks squirt, but the thing he wears contain his squirts. I think he worries about me choking on his squirt. I love him for that.
After he shudders and sometimes moans, he pulls his cock out of my throat and mouth and uses his fingers in me and I remember doing that to myself from before. I can hear my pussy is loose and squishy around his fingers and the good feeling builds like a caged little animal inside me until I feel it burst out of my belly and I feel myself squirm and twitch a little. It always leaves me breathless.
And after, the man calls me ‘good girl’ and bathes me with cool water and pats me dry and tucks me in to sleep. When I sleep I dream of the man and of people who liked me before when I felt so good I thought I was dying.