Oh, Fuck it

by Erotickynk


I am giving Seth and Oddjob blowjobs in the back of the van on the drive out into the desert - they take turns driving. They both like me and I like Seth, but leaving Oddjob out would be rude. They’d come and got me at my trailer at Desert Pines and Seth was so kind and sympathetic about taking me out to the deep desert to kill me I thought; Oh, Fuck it. Why not? At least this way they’ll remember me fondly, and throating cock makes me horny, so it was all good. I want to be horny because I figure it is better to die horny than dry and scared.


Seth’s knocking woke me up out of a frowsy sleep at ten this morning. I’d worked at the Dew Drop late last night and stayed after closing, having a few drinks with Daryl and Mim, which means I didn’t get home until the eastern sky was turning pink, so I only got about four hours sleep. That turned out to be a good thing because I get horny when I'm over tired.

I opened the door and saw Seth standing there, me squinting as the white hot sunshine invaded my trailer. He was smiling, but I knew him well enough to know it was a sad smile.

“Hi, Bobbi.” he said quietly.

“Seth? What’s up?” I murmured, my tongue thick in my mouth as I rubbed sleep out of my eyes.

“Mind if we come in?” Seth asked. I looked past him and saw that he had Oddjob with him. Oddjob was smiling too, but his smile held menace which meant they were up to something.

“’kay.” I said, stepping back and opening the door as I felt that tickle I get deep in my belly when I’m nervous.

As they clomped in with their heavy boots and went into my living room, I shuffled to the fridge.

“Want something?” I asked, getting myself a coke.

“Nah, we’re good.” Seth said as he sat on the sofa. Oddjob stayed standing, leaning against the door. I knew something was up - something serious.

“Come sit.” Seth said, patting the seat of my armchair.

I shuffled over and sat, cracking open my can of coke and guzzling half of it to get the mungy sleep taste out of my mouth.

“Oh, that’s better.” I breathed, then burped, “What’s up?”

“You know TJ is pulling back, tying up loose ends before charges come down.” Seth started to explain.

TJ was an ex-boyfriend, and even though we’d broken up years ago when I got fat, he was still a friend with benefits. Plus I did runs for him. TJ ran drugs over the border and had a lot of mules - I was one of them.

The runs were easy money, and I stood less of a chance of getting caught because I’m a fat girl - a really fat girl with a big belly. Down in El Berrendo, they’d load me up and I’d take the bus through Antelope Wells and meet up with TJ’s people for extraction - usually Seth. He was gentle and patient getting the packets out of me.

Being a mule isn’t as easy as you might think - especially the way I carried. It started the night before a run; I’d drink two bottles of Biolax and spend the evening shitting my guts out until I was empty. The next morning I’d hop the bus to El Berrendo and hook up with TJ’s contacts, Manny and Fredo down there in a motel. I’d spend about an hour on my hands and knees as they pushed the packets into me until my bowels were stuffed. Then they’d stuff an air bladder inside my rectum and inflate it so I don’t lose anything. I can carry two kilos inside me that way.

After that I take the evening bus back through Antelope Wells, acting like a daytripper as my belly rumbled and cramped. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as it sounds - I got to enjoy the cramping and the heaviness of the packets inside me. I would arrive at the drop point and sometimes masturbated as Seth helped me expel the packets in the bathtub by giving me a glycerin enema. Sometimes Seth would fuck me as the packets slithered out of me. I know it sounds gross, but it was a very sensual experience.


Oddjob is driving now and the van is bouncing a bit as it navigates the rough road up into the large arroyo where they will bury my body. It’s making the blow-job I’m giving Seth more enjoyable for both of us - as the van bounces, it drives Seth’s cock deeper into my throat, making me gag and heave a little. He’s moaning and his hips are starting to curl so I know he’s going to cum soon.


TJ found out through a snitch that the DEA was investigating him. It’s happened before, but this time he found out they had an informer who was willing to testify to het into witness protection; new life; new name; new city. It’s a sweet deal if you’re at the end of your rope.

I imagine that TJ saw me as a potential witness against him, even though if I was I wouldn’t still be in that shitty trailer and still working at the Dew Drop six out of seven nights. But TJ wasn’t about to take chances. I went to him when I heard about the investigation and assured him that I wouldn’t talk and that I needed this over so I could go back to muling for him because I needed the money. TJ was friendly and smiled a lot and told me that he trusted me. As he walked me out of his storefront he patted my bum and told me not to worry and that he’d call me when the operation was up and moving again. I was nervous about his calmness, but I let it go and carried on with my life.

That was three weeks ago.


Seth is crying out the way he does when he cums hard and his cock is pulsing so much cum that I can’t swallow it fast enough. I suck him dry and lick the overflow from his cock and balls as he sighs and relaxes. I snuggle up against him and he idly massages my belly the way he knows I like, especially when it’s full. On my return bus trips muling for TJ, I would press in on my hard bloated belly, enjoying the cramping and heaviness inside me and making myself so horny that I had to wear two tampons to keep from leaking.

As we sat in my living room this morning and Seth told me the bad news that wasn’t really a surprise to me; two other of his mules had disappeared in the past week and I’d been waiting for TJ to decide if I needed to go too. It was my turn to disappear.

“TJ still loves you, Bobbi.” Seth told me, “He wants it done right, so he asked me to do it.”

“Then why bring Oddjob?” I asked, “You know I won’t fight it or get stupid.”

“We need a big hole dug for you.” Oddjob cracked and Seth waved him to silence.

“What’s important is, TJ wants you to have choices.” Seth said, taking my hand in his, “If there’s any way to make this good for you, he wants it.”

The first thing I asked for was a last meal, so on our way out of town we went through the KFC drive-thru for a bucket of chicken while Oddjob picked up a dozen cold beer from the grocery store next door. I didn’t want to die with an empty stomach and being a little drunk would make it easier for me.

It was like a rolling picnic; driving north deep into the desert while we drank beer and ate chicken. By the time we turned off the paved road, my belly was full and I had that pleasant buzz going for me. That’s when I invited them into the back with me for their blow-jobs - getting myself horny would be the trifecta to help me accept my death.

Now, snuggled up beside Seth as he massaged my full belly and I kiss and sucked his nipples, I get down to final options.

“So, what did you have in mind?” I ask him softly.

“Whatever you want, Bobbi.” Seth answers, “We can strangle you, give you an overdose ...”

“I’ve never gutted a live girl before.” Oddjob offers, “Ever think how it would feel to have that big, beautiful belly opened up and feel all those guts come splooshing out?”

“What do you think?” I say, looking up into Seth’s eyes, “It would be intense.”

“It’s an option.” Seth whispers as he traced a line from my mound up to my sternum. I feel that throb deep in my sex and shudder just thinking about it.

“What else?” I ask Seth.

“Throat cut?” Seth suggests.

“Yuck.”

“Impaled?”

“Hmm.” I say as I felt that tingling deep in my belly again, but lower down this time, “What would that look like?”

“We have a spit.” Seth says, reaching behind him to lift up a section of a wooden rake that is sharpened to a point, “We could push it in, or you could ride it - take your time.”

I take the spit and place it against my belly - with the round end just below my crotch, the tip is between my boobs.

“Wow.” I say, “That would be quite a ride.”

“It would.” Seth agrees, “Of course we’re far enough out that we could just cap you in the back of the head. Bang, and it’s over.”

“Don’t think so.” I say, “It’s fast for sure, but I think it’d feel like being hit in the head with a sledge hammer. I don’t want that to be the last thing I experience.”

“Well, you’d better choose fast.” Oddjob says as the van slows and stops, “We’re here.”

I lift myself up and look out the windows. We’re in a large arroyo on the flat bottom, surrounded by small mesas so we are hidden from the outside world. This is where my body will rot and shrivel so long as a pack of coyotes don’t dig me up and eat me. That thought is perversely arousing.

Seth pulls up his pants and climbs over me and opens the side door of the van - the desert heat invading the van and pushing out the air conditioned air. As he gets out I roll onto my back and lift my fat legs, kicking off my sneakers and peeling my yoga pants and underwear off.

Oddjob comes round the van and takes out the two shovels and goes looking for good digging.

I scootch my bum to the doorway of the van and sit on the edge, spreading my thighs wide open and start masturbating as I watch Oddjob start to dig my grave.

My grave.

I am surprised at how calm I am. Being okay with my fate has lasted since I thought “Fuck it” when Seth told me what was going to happen. The blow-jobs have made me horny like they always do - beside relishing the helpless sexual bliss the man is experiencing as I swallow his cock, it’s the gagging and heaving that really turns me on. Being on the edge of vomiting is exciting - puking is like an orgasm; you feel the build up and the quivering inside you, then once it starts to ramp up you know it’s going to happen and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. And the puking up uses the same muscles as cumming does and your body is out of your control.

I’m fingering myself hard, my cunt sloppy and loose, spritzing girl cum. I want to cum before we start. Unlike men, when a girl cums she’s primed for another, and in my case I can string a half dozen orgasms together if the sex is intense enough. Some of my best orgasms have been while I’m being ‘spitted’ - on my hands and knees being fucked or fisted while another guy is throat fucking me.

That thought makes me shudder and shake and cry out in orgasm. It also helps me make up my mind. Seth stands and watches me cum, patiently waiting for me to come down.

“Well? Have you decided?” Seth asks as I catch my breath.

I nod, gasping as I go back to massaging my cunt to keep my horny going.

“I’ll ride the spit.” I tell him in a hoarse whisper.

Seth turns.

“Oddjob!” he calls and Oddjob stops digging, “Let’s set up.”

Oddjob drops his shovel and walks past me. They both climb into the van and spread a blue plastic tarp on the floor.

“We’ll do it in the van.” Seth tells me, “The sun’s too hot to do it outside.”

“Thanks.” I say to him as I stand up and Oddjob takes my hand and helps me back into the van.

I stand bent over and brace myself with one hand on the side of the van with Seth holding my other hand, our fingers interlaced. Oddjob climbs out and leans in, holding the spit with the pointed end aimed at my crotch. I slowly lower myself.

“Cunt or asshole?” Oddjob asks.

“Cunt.” I answer.

“It’ll make it slower and more intense.” Seth warns.

“I know.” I whisper. My whole life has been intense; I’ve lived on the edge of the law; I’ve never liked ‘love-making’, preferring hard, raw, animal sex; and my best orgasms have come with pain and frantic desperation.

“I bet I put on a pretty good show for you boys.” I say, and hear the slight madness in my laugh.

“You know you’re going to be puking at the end.” Seth says.

“I hope so.” I say then gasp as I feel the sharp tip scrape its way into my loose, oily cunt. I go slow, easing myself down, trying to get the tip into my cervix - if I can do that I know it will be intense and that’s what I want - a invasive penetration through my uterus and up into my belly and hopefully my throat.

The temperature in the van is rising crazy fast under the white-hot desert sun. Seth continues to hold my hand to keep me steady and Oddjob holds the base of the spit pinned to the van floor for me as I work it, trying to get to the place I want to be. And I really work it for a long time. I work it until I feel weak, until my thighs ache, until my skin is slick with sweat, until the length of the spit is slick with my cunt grool. I am growing frustrated that though the tapered tip is wedged in my cervix, I can’t seem to open it up enough to penetrate me deep so I can finish this.

“... it’s hot ...” I whine, “Can’t we open the back door to get a breeze?”

“Sure.” Oddjob says, “Push down.” and I do and feel the sweet pressure of the spit as I pin it hard to the floor.

Oddjob walks around the back of the van and I hear the doors open to let the breeze in - it’s hot, baked air, but at least it’s moving. It’s a small relief but my core temperature is high and being held in by my body fat. I’m not sure if I can do this.

“How far do you want me to go?” I ask Seth, and he smiles and touches my throat where my gag reflex lives, “... oh fffffuck ...” I whisper.

My thighs are cramping from holding myself up so I try something new; I relax my belly and let my weight come down on the spit. I’m rewarded with an increase in pressure inside my sex, but still it won’t penetrate.

“... oh ... I can’t ...” I whisper, then louder; “I can’t get it in anymore.” and I hear the weariness in my voice. I relax my thighs and increase the pressure and suddenly I feel it;

My cervix releases its tight grip, I feel it opening like a flower, swallowing the spit into my uterus.

“Oh fuck.” I gasp, “Never mind.”

It takes my breath away as I feel my weight forcing my cervix open wider and wider, penetrating me where I’ve never been penetrated. Along with the pressure and the pain, I feel the sharp tip tickle the top wall of my uterus and I quiver, a humourless laugh bubbling up from my belly.

I know this is it - I’m now able to ride this thing until it kills me. I didn’t think I had any fear, but when the reality sinks in I feel a wash of shiver-bumps tingle from my crotch to my nipples. I’m going to die within minutes. That’s it - my life ends here and now. If I do it right, the spit will puncture my uterus, then slither through my belly, prick and puncture my stomach then slide up my gullet. If I do it wrong, it will puncture a lung and I’ll die a horrible death, drowning in my own blood. Either way the next moments will be the mose intense of my life.

I set my mind to do it right. I know things will become frantic and I will become desperate as this violence is done to my body, but if I stop now it’s a bullet to the back of my head.

I begin to ride the spit, bouncing on it, driving it deep into myself, wondering how that first puncturing will feel. I feel my belly fat bouncing which adds force to the spit, but I ride it like a cock. There’s a sharp tickle high up in my uterus where the tip is poking it with each bounce, making a hole and opening it - creating a new orifice that will give to entrance to my sac of thick, wet intestines.

Seth grips my hand tight to help me balance as I ride it, feeling it stretching my uterus, pulling my cunt lips inside me, stretching the skin of my crease causing my clit to rub on the smooth wood.

It feels like a strong orgasm building and a wash of fear floods my body from my anus and cunt up through my core to my chicken and beer bloated stomach. I’m afraid I won’t cum, but I’m trying - trying so hard to make sure I cum as I die.

I drop to my knees and keep riding the spit - fucking it - driving it deep inside me. My uterus is contracting, clenching like a little ball of muscle that tries to grip the spit and stop it from moving. I have to do this. I let my weight take over and my bum lowers so that I am sitting on my heels and it happens.

I cry out at the suddenness of the spit as it breaks through into my belly - the spasm of sharp pain followed by the foreign sensation of it sliding deeper into my guts. I can feel it in there as I continue to ride it - deeper inside me now - moving my intestines out of its way, tickling as it moves up and down. I feel the tip scrape something sensitive just under my sternum and curl my body forward as I continue to hump it. I feel it prick my bloated stomach and suddenly feel nausea. It’s where it needs to be.

I feel so hot and so desperate, riding the edge of an orgasm as I hump the spit, displacing my insides, my cunt and uterus moving deep and shallow as they grip it. My stomach is churning now as the tip of the spit is poking that bloated sac in my belly. My mouth is watering like crazy, drool flowing down my chin. I’m trembling badly now, Seth squeezes my hand harder to help me stay upright, but my hands are sweaty like the rest of my heavy body.

A voice inside me keeps chanting; ‘... sit-down-sit-down-sit-down ... take it all, baby, take it all ...’ And I want to so bad, but I’m scared - this will be the end of me. I feel the spit poke my stomach hard and I burp, then heave, tasting the chicken and beer gurgling up my throat to spatter on the tarp. This is it! Oh fuck, this is it!

Then I just do it; I slide my feet further apart and open my jiggling fat thighs and my sweat slick legs open wide and my body drops heavy onto the van floor, the spit driving up through my stomach to slide up my gullet.

It’s the deepest fuck of my life.

I start puking up hard, my entire belly convulsing, my intestines squirming, my cunt gripping the base of the spit. My eyes blur with sudden tears and Seth lets go of my hand. This is intense - so fucking intense. Is it an orgasm? I don’t know, but it feels raw and deep and oh so good. It’s similar to the pleasure I feel when being throat fucked until I puke, but amplified by the power of ten.

My cunt and throat are spasming around this wooden shaft as I convulse around it ... getting so dizzy ... a shock slams my body and I realize I have fallen onto my face then flopped on my side ... puking ... puking ... puking ... oh fuck this feels like an orgasm ...

I feel Seth’s hand snake in between my fat ass cheeks and grip the shaft ... he is fucking me with it and with each thrust I puke up a little more ... cum a little more ... intense ... invasive ... I wish I could survive so I could do it again ... fuck, the light is going ... sound too ... all that is left is my heaving belly and my clenching cunt ... don’t stop, Seth ... please don’t stop ...