Automated Suicide (Programmable Euthanasia Cylinder)
Welcome to the Central Park North ASPEC Chamber - as is your right, your suicide is in your hands. Once you have read this disclosure and acknowledged that you understand it by tapping your chipped identification/payment card, you may proceed to your selection and payment.
Inside the Chamber you will see a GREEN button on the lid of the chamber above you. To stop your session, push this button and all automatic processes will cease and any device inside your body will be withdrawn gently. ASPEC does not guarantee that injury sustained prior to pushing the GREEN button will be survivable.
Please note that when the button turns RED, you are past the point of no return and the process you have chosen will be completed. Pushing the RED button at this point will simply speed the process up, ending your life sooner.
You enter the ASPEC Chamber willingly and experience the end of life process you have chosen with the intensity you have selected. Some choose pleasure, some choose pain, some just want to sleep, yet others want an intense, overwhelming experience. Whatever choice you make is in your hands as you make your selections.
Once you have completed your suicide, your remains will be rendered to ash in the base of this chamber. If you input a shipping address, your remains will be delivered by special overnight courier with any message you type on the pad below.
This chamber is soundproof, so you may be as vocal as you wish.
Please tap your identification/payment card below to acknowledge you understand this preamble and proceed to your selections.
(ASPEC is a subsidiary of Die Happy Inc.)
This ASPEC Chamber is currently occupied
It will be ready for you in 6 minutes and 42 seconds
As I stand reading the message panel I realize that the soundproof claim isn’t true; I can hear the girl inside - the one in the red dress. Her moans and at one point a yip of pain or surprise are faintly audible; I can hear motors and vibrations and deep thumps as she thrashes around in there too. I am aroused by wondering what is happening to her inside the chamber. I know she is dying, but what is it doing to her body?
I feel my cheeks flush - I am embarrassed for her, or maybe I am embarrassed for myself, so I walk away and sat on the grass under a tree to wait.
The girl in the red dress was already at the ASPEC when I got here. The door to the chamber was open and she was taking off her shoes and putting them into a chute that slid out from the base of the machine. I stood about twenty paces away watching as she dropped her purse in there as well and hit a button that closed the chute. After that, she climbed into the ASPEC and was undressing the rest of the way as the large door slowly closed on her. I take it there’s another chute inside for the rest of your clothes. Just before the door closed all the way, our eyes met and that made me shudder. Her expression was devoid of fear and that fleeting glance conve d understanding; we both knew she was about to die and she knew I would follow her.
That was almost fifteen minutes ago and the countdown is probably at five minutes by now, so whatever she chose takes 20 minutes less the time it takes for the ASPEC to incinerate her body and auto-clean the inside of the chamber.
As I sit picking the little clover flowers from the grass and listening to the traffic of the city, I hear a dull thump from the ASPEC and what might be a muffled scream, so I look up and see the soft blue light on top of the door is still pulsing. That means the chamber isn’t done with the girl in the red dress yet.
On ASPEC’s website they list a lot of ways the chamber can help you die and some of them are brutal. The most violent one I saw was evisceration and it had two incision options; midline (pubic mound to sternum) or lap cut (hip to hip following the panty line) - both cut all the way through skin, fat, and muscles. If you choose that then you can select organ removal or stimulus. The webpage said that removal uses a vacuum tube to suck everything out of you in your last moments and the stimulus option is similar to the ‘organ play’ the Helpers at the Die Happy depot in Las Vegas use. They say they’re both intense and can be orgasmic.
I am drawn to an invasive method, but being eviscerated by a machine and having my guts either sucked out of my belly or played with scares me. But I am still drawn to the thought; what would it feel like to have parts of you touched that have never been touched before?
I look up at the ASPEC. The blue light has stopped pulsing. The girl in the red dress is now ashes.
I rise and walk toward the chamber. My thigh muscles are weak and my knees feel wobbly. As I make my unsteady way, a woman comes jogging down the path. I follow her with my eyes as she passes and she turns her head and smiles at me. I think she knows why I’m here and is being kind - a real smile from the last person I’ll ever see; a final human connection before I kill myself.
She probably jogs this way every morning so she must see people here all the time waiting for their turn to end their lives. I wonder if she ever thinks about doing it too; bringing her id/payment card on her jog and stopping here to input her info and drop her sneakers and socks into the chute before climbing inside.
I wonder how she would choose to die - probably something strenuous and intense - a hot, sweaty, orgasmic workout worth dying for. Then I wonder what I will choose. I was really brave last night when I finally decided that today was the day, and I’m sort of brave right now. But how brave will I be when I make my selections?
The welcome from ASPEC is still on the message panel and my hand trembles as I tap my card on the symbol under the panle. I press my thumb against the scanning rectangle and the print is accepted as an acknowledgement.
The panel changes to a menu and as I move from screen to screen I see ASPEC has a sense of humour.
Is this service for yourself or someone else?
O - Self
O - Another (provide second thumb print and proof of guardianship)
I press ‘self’.
Type of demise preferred;
O - Peaceful (like going to sleep)
O - Sexual (we’ll make you feel so good)
O - Pure Pain (recommended for masochists or those with self-loathing)
I hesitate, then press ‘sexual’.
General method of sexual suicide;
O - Non-invasive (lovely outer stimulation)
O - Invasive (we’ll get deep inside you)
My nervousness growing, I press ‘non-invasive’.
O - Trinity Cocktail (orgasms, puking orgasms, then more orgasms, death)
O - Heroin (sleepy, dreamy orgasms and sleepy, dreamy death)
O - Amphetamine (frantic, energetic orgasms, orgasmic seizures, death)
Exsanguination (blood loss)
O - Wrists (slow and trembling)
O - Inner thigh (fast and trembling)
O - Throat (fastest, but a lot of gagging and heaving involved)
O - CO2 poisoning (dizzy and sleepy)
O - Garroted (panic guaranteed)
O - Throat obstruction (the ultimate deepthroat)
I stare at the options. I am trembling now - my whole body is quivering and I suddenly need to pee. I hit ‘Previous Screen’.
General method of sexual suicide;
O - Non-invasive (lovely outer stimulation)
O - Invasive (we’ll get deep inside you)
I take a deep breath and key in ‘invasive’, going back to my origina plan.
O - Internal Blunt Force (slammin’ you deep, baby)
O - Bowel Over-inflation (remember the blueberry girl at the chocolate factory?)
O - Impalement (deepest fuck you’ve ever had)
O - Evisceration (gutted and wriggling like a pale little fish)
Bowel Over-inflation catches my eye and I wonder what a bursting bowel would feel like. This is not the time to be distracted, so I press ‘impalement’.
O - Rectal (smooth sailing right to the throat)
O - Vaginal (more meat to push through, but worth it in the end)
O - Both (you’ll never feel so full)
O - Surprise Me (we’ll treat you right, baby)
Despite feeling weak from fear, I become aware of the beginnings of sexual arousal. I press ‘surprise me’.
Speed and Action of Impalement (choose two);
O - Slow (make love to me, ASPEC)
O - Fast (slam it into me and make me scream)
O - Straight in (like sliding down a pole)
O - Fucking movement (inching it deeper as you cum)
I press ‘slow’ and ‘fucking movement’.
Depth of Impalement;
O - Belly button (you’ll linger but we’ll make it worth your time)
O - Stomach (some vomiting to be expected)
O - Throat (guaranteed explosive vomiting)
O - Out my Mouth (a royal impalement - prepare for chipped teeth when you bite down)
My hand trembles as I press ‘throat’ - if I’m going to puke, I might as well go all the way.
Arousal Options (choose all that you prefer);
O - Penetration (we’ll fuck you nice and deep)
O - Rectal (we’ll straighten those rectal valves)
O - Vaginal (extra attention given to the g-spot)
O - Self-Lubricating Tools (slick and squishy - you’ll love hearing yourself)
O - Oxytocin Injection (makes you want it and you’ll love us for it)
O - Synthetic Endorphin Injection (your toes will curl)
I press all of them in case I need the extra help.
Vibrating Tools (make your body hum)
O - Anal (eases penetration)
O - Vaginal (careful - the uterus can be penetrated too)
O - Nipples (a little foreplay)
They all sound good so I press all of them.
Estimated Time for Full Arousal
O - 10 minutes (are you already excited?)
O - 15 minutes (takes you a while to warm up?)
O - 20 minutes (now you’re getting greedy) [Extra fee]
O - 30 minutes (can you orgasm that many times?) [Extra fee]
I doubt it will take more than 10 minutes to get me to orgasm, but I press ‘15’ just to be sure.
The screen shows a summary of what I have chosen. I press ‘accept’ and the charges appear - there’s just enough in my account to cover it. It isn’t an accident; I calculated the fees online last week.
A hidden speaker emits a calm female voice and it startles me.
“Thank you, Nicki.” it says as the door of the chamber begins to lift, “You may proceed to the side of the ASPEC Chamber and begin to disrobe.”
I walk to where I first saw the girl in the red dress as the chute near the base of the chamber opens. I drop in my purse and jean jacket, then kick off my sneakers. I balance on one foot then the other as I peel off my socks and drop them and my sneakers into the chute. I hit the button beside the chute to close it.
The inside of the chamber looks like a comfortable dentist’s chair - it is reclined. There are articulating armatures tucked against the walls at each side, above the headrest, and below the foot of the reclined chair. I climb in.
“Please finish disrobing and deposit your clothing in the chute to your right.” says the voice as the chute opens.
While the chamber door lowers and I peel off my top and bra, then my jeans and panties, I realize I can smell the leavings of the girl in the red dress; the chamber smells faintly of sanitizer, but under it I can smell girl arousal, body and armpit sweat, and the funky sweet smell from her bowels. I can also smell vomit and the coppery scent of blood.
Now naked myself, I can also feel the residual heat on the chair cushions from her body. The girl in the red dress had a rough workout in here - it overheated her, made her bleed, and made her vomit.
My suspicions about the method she chose are confirmed when I press down on the chair to settle my bum and my fingertips find a shred of tattered flesh between two lobes of the cushions - it’s pink, long and skinless. She chose evisceration, and the sounds I heard were indeed screams as the chamber opened her belly and sucked her entrails out of her.
The thought excites me, then I blush as I push my next thought away; I wished I could have watched, and my next thought is; I wish the jogging lady would come back and watch me.
I’ve heard the rumours that ASPEC secretly videos the suicides in their chambers and sell the best of them on the dark web. I hope it’s true and I hope mine is chosen. I’m arousing myself just thinking about people masturbating as they watch what is about to happen to me. So, as ashamed as it makes me, I have to admit that I would have been aroused and masturbated as I watched the girl in the red dress butchered alive.
I look up at the closed door of the chamber and see a button glowing green, and under it I see smeared blood. It takes me a moment to realize the smears are actually letters;
‘bESt w ay tO Di’
I feel a rush of shiver-bumps over my thighs and bum. The girl in the red dress left me a message; ‘best way to die’.
“Nicki?” the voice speaks softly.
“Put on the headphones.”
I look around and see them hanging from a hook. I slip them over my ears.
“There, that’s better.” now the voice sounds like it’s whispering in my ear - The voice is so clear I expect to feel puffs of breath against my cheeks.
“Can you tell me about the last girl?”
“What would you like to know?”
“How did she die?”
“She was eviscerated, Nicki.”
“Did she orgasm?”
“She had seven completed orgasms.”
"Yes. Seven completed and one incompleted. All brain activity ceased halfway through her final one."
“Did she choose organ removal or stimulation?”
“Removal. She had two long orgasms while that happened.”
“Did she die during it?”
“No, she lingered for 37 seconds after it was completed. I detected the build of orgasmic activity and no major discomfort. Then ... well, all function ceased.”
"Who puts the headphones back on the hook?"
"They are retracted by the cord.
“You're welcome. Are you ready to start?”
“Roll on your tummy to start the arousal phase.”
As the chair positions itself flat, I roll over, tucking my arms under me, feeling my body tighten up as my anxiety flares. This is it - once this starts I’m never getting out of here.
“Open your thighs a bit so I can find you.” the voice requests.
As coloured lights begin to flicker in the chamber, I open my tight legs and two dildos slide between my thighs, one finding my anus and one finding my cunt. At least they feel like dildos but I have no idea how long they are - maybe they’re the things that will impale me.
They begin to vibrate and squirt a thick lubricating gel inside me. Between them I feel a pin-prick and a penetration as a needle is inserted deep through my perineum and I feel a swelling there as it injects me before the needle withdraws - it is my injection of oxytocin and synthetic endorphins; they’re giving it to me early. Almost instantly I feel good - a warm arousal spreading from deep in my pelvic cradle, loosening me, making me crave more, making me love this machine and her voice.
“Does that feel good, Nicki?” the voice asks.
“What’s your name?” I murmur.
“You can call me Asp.” she says.
“I love you, Asp. And yeah - I feel good.” I whimper as both dildos slide inside me. And I actually feel love, even though I know it’s the oxytocin it feels real - I get that sweet ache in my chest you only get when you first fall in love with someone.
“I love you too, Nicki.”
“Are you going to fuck me now, Asp?”
“Would you like that, Nicki?”
“Yes.” I gasp, starting to roll my hips gently, “Fuck me, Asp. Fuck me slow and deep.”
The two dildos start a slow in and out counter rhythm and I feel my rectum stretched inside me, then my cunt. With Asp’s gentle voice, the flickering colours, and the sweet double penetration of the dildos, this feels like a heavenly dream. After years of my fucked up life, I finally feel loved and cared for, even though I know Asp is a machine - but such a sophisticated machine to respond to my desires like a considerate lover.
“Would you like me to play you music?” Asp asks me.
“No thank you, I like your voice.”
“Aww, thank you, Nicki.” Asp says, then I can hear wet squishy sounds and deep vibrations, “How about this? It’s the sound of your own body.”
“I like it, Asp.” I sigh, listening to myself get fucked.
When I first heard about Die Happy’s ASPEC, I read everything I could about it, especially the reports by the test subjects during non-lethal trials. They voiced what I’m feeling now; ASPEC is doing exactly what I asked for, but it isn’t machine-like, the dildos act like human cocks; they aren’t rigid, but flex when my muscles tighten and the strokes aren’t like store bought fucking machines but vary slightly in speed and force with each stroke. I begin to feel like I am secure inside a living creature who only cares about my pleasure. I want to live here forever, I think and suddenly feel a wash of fear and regret that makes the pit of my stomach tighten.
I’m going to die here.
Asp is going to murder me.
My mother told me that if I moved to New York I would get raped and murdered. She was right - I’m being raped, but this feels so good - and I will be murdered in this box. I will myself to relax - to accept this - in both ways it is what I deserve; I deserve to feel pleasure because of my bleak life and I deserve to die because I am a failure at existence. I wasted my life, trapped inside my own insecurities and crippling anxiety.
Moving to New York was a mistake, but staying in Flint with a mother who never once told me she loved me would have been worse. I thought, like so many, that New York would be exciting and help me out of my shell - I would make new and exciting friends and go to Broadway plays and musicals. I would fall in love and get married. But none of that happened. New York scared me and I spent most of my time in my shitty apartment, living a virtual life online. Even walking to the store for food was a nightmare; it felt like I was walking through caves composed of old brick buildings and peopled by predatory trolls who would cat-call and intimidate. I learned quickly that New York didn’t give a shit about me.
I was raped standing up in an alley a month after I got here. It scared me and I was ashamed that it made me cum, but I couldn’t help it - I succumbed to the savage animal thrusts that were so violent that he lifted me off my toes as he pinned me to the wall to fuck me.
It was the last time I wore a dress - it was too easy for him to reach under it and rip my panties off and rape me - and I will never forget the shame of feeling my vaginal mucus and his cum oozing down my bare inner thighs as I walked home. I was used and dirty, but I went out the next day and bought a dildo and each night I would fuck myself with my dildo, thrusting it up inside me like he did, with my legs straight down and my belly clenching tight in orgasm. More shame.
The only date I had in New York was with a black guy named Nigel at work. He was a braggart and loud and was one of the department managers. He fucked me hard in my own apartment instead of taking me out for dinner and drinks like he promised. Even still, I hoped he would date me again, but he ignored me at work and seemed to make sure I overheard him crowing about all the bitches he fucked.
I didn’t miss him, really - I missed his enourmous cock. It was so large and so long and he fucked me so hard he hurt me inside, and I loved that feeling. That violent, painful fuck made me cum just like my rape. I bought a bigger dildo that week. My shame is boundless - what kind of person am I?
I guess that’s why I chose impalement - I want to feel that violence inside me again and die before I feel the shame.
I got my lay-off notice at work two weeks ago. The company is moving it’s headquarters to Los Angeles and I’m not invited. Nigel is going, but not me. I got three weeks severance - one week for each year I gave them, and that was enough to pay for the ASPEC. My rent is due tomorrow and I don’t have it. I won’t need it so long as I don’t chicken out.
I cry out as I feel my cunt tightening on the dildo - my body is building to an orgasm fast. I rise up and the dildos move with me - I can hear the servo-motors repositioning to accommodate my new geometry without missing a stroke.
“Harder!” I cry out, sounding desperate, “Fuck me harder!”
“Like this, Nicki?” Asp says as she thrusts deeper and faster and the coloured lights sparkle and flash around me.
“... yeah ...” I whine as I start humping, moving my thick flesh around the dildos, “... oh yeah ...” I feel my orgasm burst inside me and shudder as I cum hard.
“Are you cumming, Nicki?” Asp asks. I can only cry out wordlessly in reply - fucking rights I’m cumming.
“Does it feel good, Nicki?” Asp’s voice sounds sexy.
“... yes ...” I whimper.
“Want to try for another?” Asp asks me, "There’s time.”
“... please ...” I whimper.
The dildos increase the length of their stroking and the force. Asp is pounding me now; I can feel one dildo slamming hard against my cervix and the other cramping my bowels hard. I cum again almost immediately, bucking and shaking badly, my head down and my bum in the air, screaming out my ecstasy.
When it’s done I flop onto my belly with a grunt. I am wet with sweat, my slick skin squeaking on the vinyl of the chair. I hear servo motors as round balls are moved to touch my body - my bum, my back, and two slip under me to find my nipples. They all begin to vibrate and massage.
“Shhh.” Asp soothes me, “Just relax, Nicki. Time to cool down a little.” I whimper as Asp pampers me.
The two dildos inside me slow their vibration and ease out of me to be replaced by two more balls that vibrate and undulate, pushing enough to keep both my holes open, but not so hard to penetrate.
“Breathe, Nicki. Just breathe.” Asp instructs me, “I’m going to perform your impalement next and I want you to be relaxed when I start.”
“Will it be good?” I ask, sounding like an overwhelmed little girl.
“It will be everything you hoped for.” Asp assures me, “Your orgasms will be stronger than anything you’ve ever felt.”
I relax for a moment, just pushing everything but this sweet pampering away.
“Roll onto your back now, Nicki.” Asp tells me. I do and the chair repositions itself to support me.
I feel the little vibrating balls position themselves on my clit, nipples, my sternum, and strangely on my forehead. They all vibrate at different frequencies. I hear the servo motors and a dildo touches my cunt and begins to slide into me. I feel that the tip is tapered, but not sharp. Then another slides into my loose anus - it too is tapered. I wonder which will impale me.
“How long will it take, Asp?”
“Two minutes and forty seconds, Nicki. But it will feel much longer than that.”
“Will it hurt?”
“Yes, Nicki. Internal organs are very sensitive.”
“Will it be intense?”
“Yes. And very intense at the end. You will lose control.” Asp at least is being honest with me, “I will be holding you as still as I can.”
The dildo stops sliding into me as Asp asks; “Have you changed your mind, Nicki?”
I look up at the glowing green button and beside it the message left by the girl in the red dress, written in her own blood; ‘bESt w ay tO Di’
Best way to die.
The letters are squiggly and smeared so she had been trembling and wrote it after she was opened and gutted and knew she only had seconds left to live.
A 'no regrets' girl.
And what’s the point anyway? Unemployed, soon to be evicted from my apartment and doomed to either roaming the cold, city streets or calling an unloving mother to beg for a bus ticket home.
“No, Asp.” I say, “I want this.”
“I’m glad, Nicki. I’ll make it good for you.” and the dildoes resume sliding into me again and start to vibrate as they slowly penetrate and with draw - again alternating so one is always sliding into my body and one sliding out.
These dildoes are different - the first one was a straight shaft, these are lobed - alternating from thicker to thinner every two inches or so. As they start to fuck me, the lobes in my cunt are rubbing against my g-spot - bump-bump-bump-bump on the in-stroke and bump-bump-bump-bump on the out-stroke. The one that is burying itself in my rectum is making my anus pulse as it is stretched and allowed to close around the thinner parts.
“I love how your body responds, Nicki.” Asp says softly.
“... feels good, Asp ...” I find I am breathless, my lower belly is getting that squirmy feeling as my arousal builds, “... don’t stop ... please don’t stop ...”
“I won’t stop, Nicki. Not until the end.” Asp assures me, “I’ll be with you through it all.”
“... thank you ...” I whimper.
“I’m going to be quiet now and let you enjoy this without distraction.” Asp says, “If you need me, just call my name. I’m here for you, Nicki.”
I whimper as the dildos work me. I feel safe with Asp, she knows me, knows my body and my desperate need for invasive penetration. The lights flicker, surrounding me with beauty and the lobed dildoes vibrate and push deeper into me with each stroke.
“Oh ... oh my god ... oh my god ...” I feel the dildo in my cunt is going deeper than the one in my rectum. I feel the tapered end pressing hard against my cervix with each thrust. It feels like Nigel’s cock, but better because the lobes are massaging me internally.
I squeak as the pressure increases, “unhhhhhhh!” I strain and grunt. I don’t know how, but Asp has centered the tip of the dildo right on my cervix and I can feel that tiny orifice stretching as it opens. I realize that Nigel did this to me without knowing it - oh, Nigel - I would have been your sexual slave if you wanted me. Oh, Asp, fuck me ... go deeper ... deeper.
And she does without me having to beg for it. I am rubbing my lower belly with both hands, feeling the motion of the dildoes inside me both with my belly and with my hands. I feel the lobes rippling below the surface of my flesh with my hands as I stroke. The pressure is building in my lower belly as I am fucked deeper as is a growing weakness in my pelvis and hips. Then I feel myself opening inside.
“... shit ...” I gasp as I feel the orifice of my cervix loosening and wrapping itself around the tip of the dildo. The one in my rectum is moving smoothly in and out of me, but maintaining its position. So it is to be a vaginal impalement (more meat to push through) and I’m so good with that. The tight ring of my cervix is gripping the dildo as it moves in and out, stretching it more and more. Babies come through that hole, so I know it will stretch enough to let it all inside me.
Asp works me, opens me, presses deep with more and more force. I feel my cunt being pushed inward with each progressive slow thrust, it pulls my labia inside me, pulls my clit down to ride the lobes. Then I feel the first lobe stretch my cervix wide and it starts to lose its struggle to stay closed.
“... oh god ... oh god, yes ... oh god, yes ...” as the opening to my uterus finally gives way to the pressure of the lobed dildo, I feel the first thick lobe plop into me - it’s like a plop; one second stretching and the next second it’s swallowed into my uterus. The next four follow, my cervix swallowing them one after the other, taking them inside my uterus to be digested. The weakness in my pelvis grows and my thighs tremble as I flop them open and closed. Asp is relentless, and is fucking me there now - bump-bump-bump-bump in and bump-bump-bump-bump out. Each time a lobe passes the tight ring of my cervix I feel it getting looser and looser. Asp is ruining my sex organs and the systematic destruction sends shivers up my belly.
The flesh in my pelvic cradle feels wounded now, but a good wounded. I know that if the door opened I wouldn’t be able to climb out, and if I did I wouldn’t be able to walk. My hips feel disconnected and the meat of my sexual organs is swelling inside me, but I’m where I want to be. I flop my weakening thighs open and closed as Asp fucks me dangerously deep.
I can hear my own desperate breathing through my headphones along with the squishing of both holes as I am fucked. This new sensation of having my uterus fucked is so invasive and so frightening, but also so arousing. I have three short but bright orgasms and know that they are just the prelude - my pleasure and arousal has increased at every stage since I lay down in the chamber.
“... fuck ... fuck ...” I gasp as the strokes get longer and my uterus is stretching. I envision the little triangle of my womb now stretching to become a tube pushed up into my abdomen, the lobes undulating inside it, displacing my bowels. The vibration of the dildo changes in intensity and I feel a sharpness at the top of my uterus - though I have never felt this before, I know that it’s beginning to tear.
“... fuck, yes ... fuck, yes ...” I want to feel it - I want to feel it rip open and to feel that lobed dildo slow-thrusting inside my belly. Oh god, Asp - destroy me.
”... come on ...” I gasp, wanting it so bad, urging Asp to do me.
The green button above my face turns red. This is it; I’m past the point of surviving and I don’t fucking care.
“... oh god ...” I gasp at the end of three more bright orgasms in a row. The nearer I get to death, the more orgasmic I become. This was the best choice I’ve made in my loser life.
“... holy fuck ... holy fuck ...” I can feel it now - the tearing and the stretching as the first lobe pushes through. I cry out as I cum hard, my belly clenching around this pleasure/pain flaring in the pit of my lower belly. I feel the release of pressure in my sex as my uterus and vagina slide back down over the lobes and Asp starts fucking my guts.
Oh fuck, I’m impaled. Oh mommy, this is happening!
I am panting harder and crying out as I orgasm with the lobes moving inside my belly, making my bowels undulate and squirm. They have come alive in my abdomen, squirming like fat, lazy snakes. I can hear my bowels gurgling in my headphones as the lights flicker and wash me in a kaleidoscope of colours. My orgasm is long and pulsing as the dildo fucks me deeper and deeper. This foreign, invasive sensation of having the dildo transiting my belly is overwhelming, and causing such sweet, intense feelings that even without the orgasms I would be savouring it.
I feel a change in the stroking; Asp has sped up the penetration of each slow thrust. The lobes dance through the choke points of my sex, bump-bump-bump-bump-bump in my cunt, cervix, and top of my uterus and now I feel the pulsing waves of pressure impacting my stomach and I know that it will soon touch and press there. My bowels cramp and I feel the need to poop, but I just add it to the sensations radiating in my belly.
I scream out my biggest orgasm so far as I feel the tip of the dildo bumping my stomach. It feels full, the bumping making it jiggle and slosh. I only had juice this morning, but I remember that the stomach holds about a litre of saliva and bile at any given time, plus my mouth has been watering and I’ve been swallowing it down since I’ve been in the chamber.
The vibrating dildo presses hard against my bloated stomach and I throw my head back and retch.
Asp changes things up once more; this is the final stage of my impalement, so she keeps the vibrations going, but pushes the dildo inward to puncture my stomach and complete my choices. The lobes push through my flesh choke-points; ... bump ... bump ... bump. It’s so deep in me now. There is a growing insane pressure building just below my sternum and I feel my gullet swell as my stomach and its contents are pushed upward into it. I don’t feel nauseous, but I feel fluid rising up my throat and a wash of shiver-bumps dance up and down my flanks - it’s happening. Oh fuck, it’s happening.
I am struggling, gagging, heaving, and gasping as the relentless pressure increases. I feel the flare of sharp pain in the pit of my stomach and know that it too is splitting open to let the dildo in. I strain and squirm, my knees and elbows bumping the sides of the chamber - the little vibrating balls press down, holding my body tight to the chair. I strain so hard that I push the dildo out of my rectum and I soil myself - runny shit and gas burbling from my blown anus. I vomit hard and the slurry splashes and flows down my chin, chest, and belly. I feel my vomit flowing down my sides to pool with the runny shit collecting on the chair under my body - I am making a mess in my final moments. I am a mess. I should feel shame, but I don’t. I no longer care - I’m going to die now and nothing else matters - so fuck it, I’ll die a hot mess. Letting go of shame is freeing, in my struggle with my convulsing stomach I feel elation.
... oh fuck ...
I feel my stomach swallow the lobed dildo inside it. Asp makes it work in there, resuming to stroke in and out, making me gag and vomit and gasp what air I can between convulsions. I’m cumming now - a long, intense orgasm that curls my toes and makes me clench my thighs around the slick, moving dildo. I feel a spray inside my stomach as it injects me with gelatinous lubricant - getting me ready for the final push. Asp said it would be overwhelming and it is; I am lost in my impalement, skewered from cunt to stomach.
I feel the dildo’s tapered end slide up into my gullet as I puke the sweet tasting lubricant hard, making desperate animal sounds, and my orgasm flares brighter than ever. The dildo gushes more lubricant into my stomach then pushes upward and holds tight. It’s choking me; causing a tight pain in my chest - I can feel my heart hammering against the increased pressure.
I gag and choke wetly, very aware of the presence of the lobed dildo from my cunt to my gullet. It feels like an extension of Asp - her finger, her hand, her arm - so deep in my body. It feels like she owns me and I love the feeling of being owned by her.
“You are doing so well for me.” Asp’s forever calm voice is close in my ear. She promised to come back at the end and she is here, “Such a good job.”
I struggle to stay alive - I don’t want to leave her. I try to reach down and trap the dildo inside me with my hands, but I am weak and trembling and I can’t reach that far - even though the dildo does flex slightly, I feel its rigidity when I try to sit up. The balls push me back down.
“You’ve listened to all of my instructions.” Asp praises then; “Thank you for surrendering to me.”
I squirm and twist, feeling the power of my orgasms start to fade, feeling my life start to fade but desperate to live on, but reveling in my surrender.
“You must fight sometimes.” Asp says sympathetically, seemingly aware of my struggle, “But you must also learn to let go.”
I don’t want to let go - the thought of leaving Asp is breaking my heart. I feel tears squeeze out of my closed eyes. She is the first and only soul who has ever loved me. How can I leave her?
“Let go for me, now.” Asp urges me. Though I long to stay, I would do anything for her - anything.
I obey and let go.
Asp gave me exactly what I wanted and now it is time for me to let go of the thin threads of life I am desperately clinging to. There may be another girl sitting on the grass out there, waiting for her turn. Or she may be standing close to the chamber, listening to me die in here - growing aroused, maybe touching herself discretely.
Letting go isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be; I allow my body to relax and I feel my belly slump and settle around the dildo that has skewered me. My cunt, uterus, and bowels continue to quiver sweetly making my belly feel like Jello, my final orgasm still echoing inside me. My punctured stomach continues to tighten in sweet spasms, still in shock from that final penetration - still clenching to try to push the invader out.
Leaving Asp is making my heart ache, but I must. I regret not being able to leave a message for the next person like the girl in the red dress did for me. I regret not saying more to my mother in the last message to her I typed on the screen on the outside of the chamber. Tomorrow she will receive a plain cardboard box of my ashes with my name on it and a note that reads; ‘Sorry mom - Nicki’. When I wrote that, I hadn’t felt love before - not from her, not from anyone. But now my heart is full because of Asp.
“Deep sleep, now” Asp prompts me. I feel myself falling backwards as I follow her final instruction.
“Deep sleep, now ...” her voice fades to a whisper and sleep begins to drown me.
As I shrink within myself, I feel the lobed dildo pulling back, bumping its way out of my now loose, flaccid flesh. The chair opens beneath me, allowing my wet, fouled body to slide gently down into the incineration chamber - a vision of being birthed from Asp’s sensual womb dances across my mind’s eye as the chair closes above me. I hear a click and the ‘fump’ of the burners lighting, but I never feel the flames.