by Erotickynk

Kim is screaming and fighting like hell as the four shirtless security men carry her through the parting crowd. She's pulling at them trying to get her wrists free, bite their hands, and kick at them all at the same time. She's 90 pounds soaking wet but boy is she giving them a fight for their money, not to mention causing a scene which the crowd is soaking up.

It's the annual Dark Encounters' Orgy of Deadly Delights and they're carrying her through the grand ballroom toward the big raised bed in the centre of the room where Serge is waiting with the spit.

Yeah - she's one of "those". She took the deal a year ago and admitted that she had the time of her life for every minute of that year. Kim told me highlights of it for the past two hours while I fluffed her to keep her aroused for when her turn came. See, this year - [and the past four years] - I'm one of the fluffers - girls paid to keep the Orgy girls horny and happy before they meet their chosen end as payment for their year of having all their drams come true. And I'm not exaggerating, these girls can have anything they want. A couple years ago one girl wanted to be a real Princess and they found a Prince from some European country to marry and include her in all Royal duties for one year.

Anyway, Kim's one of the thinner girls this year - a real lean body. The tiniest girl was the one who was beheaded earlier - that one was a tough cookie to go out like that. But Kim? Well ... all the girls are nervous, but I could sense there was some barely contained terror in her from the start. She talked too much and laughed too loud, and made too much sexy talk about how she was going out.

The girls get to choose their method of death; hanging, strangulation, impaling, gutting, electrocution - hell, this year we even had a poisoning ... one girl sat in a chair in an open area and slowly got sicker and sicker until she started foaming at the mouth then went into long drawn out convulsions before she died.

Kim had chosen to be gutted - why, I'll never know. And when they finally called her name, she freaked out. I had her poised on the edge of orgasm for over half an hour, moaning and gasping and squirming in her chair as I worked her sweet clean pussy and anus with my mouth and fingers. Then her name is called and she starts pulling away from me, saying she can't do this and trying to get out of the ballroom and back to the suites.

But it doesn't work that way - once the contract is signed and the Dark Encounters people have fulfilled their part of the bargain, there's no getting out of it. So security materialized out of nowhere and they took hold of her. And by doing what she did, she lost her right to choose - it went to the audience popularity poll and the verdict was anal impalement. I guess this year's an anal year - most years it's hanging; by far the most popular method to watch apparently.

I'm trying to keep up as the guys flop her face down on the big bed and each one takes a wrist or an ankle and they stretch her out. She's still squirming and screaming that she changed her mind and swearing at them, then all of a sudden she's sobbing and pleading with them not to do this to her.

I see Serge hoist his spit - 8 feet of polished stainless steel with smooth rounded tip and a hollowed out centre so the sharp spike inside can be triggered to jab hard when some internal organ needs to be penetrated.

Her sobbing is getting to me and looking around the audience, I can see that some of them don't like it either.

"Stop!" I call out to Serge as he's about to lay the tip against her anus, "Give me a couple minutes with her first. And lubricate that fucking thing, you sadist."

I move to the front of the bed, closest to Kim's face and kneel so we're face to face, she's still sobbing and pleading.

"Kim?" I say gently, reaching out and stroking her short hair, "Kim, honey? Listen to me."

"I don't want to die." She sobs as she lifts her face, It's like she's an upset ten year old again; her eyes are blurred with tears, her face is a flushed grimace of terror, her lips are wet, and clear snot coats her upper lip. A man in a tuxedo hands me a linen hankie and I nod my thanks then wipe her face and cover her nose.

"Blow, hon." and Kim blows her nose.

"Please. Please tell them." She pleads with me. [Like, what am I going to tell them?]

"Honey, you have to listen to me." I say gently as I move closer, our noses almost touching - her eyes eager and hopeful that I can stop this from happening to her, "We can't stop this, sweetheart. But we can make it as easy for you as possible."

Her face starts to crumple and more tears well in her eyes. I take her head gently in my hands and stroke my fingers through her hair. She closes her eyes and makes a whining sound.

"No, honey. No-no. Shhhh." I get even closer, kissing her on the forehead, the nose, "Don't cry. We can do this. I can help you and make it feel good. I'll stay with you and hold you."

Her entire body shudders and she swallows.

"I'm so scared." she gasps softly.

"I know you are. All the girls are scared. I know I'm going to be scared when my turn comes." I say, continuing to stroke her hair and kiss her flushed face. Her eyes open and she looks at me, puzzled.

"Your turn? I thought you were one of them." she manages to say without sobbing.

"This time I'm a fluffer, Kim. Next year I'm a participant." I admit, "I start my year tomorrow morning."

A little wrinkle appears between her eyebrows as she studies my face.

"You want this?" she asks.

"Yes. I do." I answer, turning my head and kissing her lips softly, "I've been a fluffer for five years, and I've helped over twenty girls go though it and watched maybe a hundred more. I know what they go through and I want it."

"How? I mean, how do you want it done?" she asks, that little wrinkle still there.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure." I smile, "But I'm thinking hoisted hanging."

I massage her neck, guiding her to turn her head and lay her left cheek on the bed. I glance up and see that the four security guys still hold Kim's wrists and ankles tight and Serge is waiting for me to give him the signal - and I'm pleased to see the spit is glistening with lubricant. I kiss her face, ears, and neck as I speak softly and sensually.

"I want you to feel the spit inside you ... and it's so good Serge is doing it because he's the best - he's a master. He's going to fuck you anally with it, going a little deeper each stroke until it's sliding in and out of you, reaching far above your belly button, probing your stomach, making it quiver and jump." I am massaging her shoulders now, feeling the tension leaving her body, "You're going to be in total sexual bliss, sweetheart. And when it's time ... it will be the most amazing thing you've ever felt."

"How do you know it will feel that way?" she asks, her voice barely a whisper.

"Because I've helped four girls go this way and each one had a wonderful orgasm at the end." I answer, still kissing her as I explain. I am aware of the crowd close around us, the silence around us as they listen and observe - to them this is a performance.

"Kim, you originally chose to be gutted - a cross belly gutting while you were kneeling. This is better. This is easier." I stroke her chin, guiding her to lift it and face me once more. When she does, I slide my right hand under her chest on the bed and find her nipples, stroking and teasing them.

"Is it the easiest?" she asks, her breath on my cheek.

"I'll be honest, hanging is the easiest." I admit, "But this will be the fuck of your life. He's going to fuck your entire body ... it's going to feel like a hard cock sliding all the way through your belly."

"Oh god ..." she sighs and shivers, from the image of being penetrated that deep or from what I am doing to her nipples, which I don't know.

I lean in close, turning my face, our lips brushing lightly. As we kiss lightly and she calms, I become aware of many in our crowd moving a few feet to the small stage near us. I glance over and see that Marianna is about to start her death. Marianna chose to fluff tonight instead of being fluffed and to go to her death without assistance.

"Kim ... Marianna is about to be gutted. Let's watch" I know how it's going to happen, so I reach up and gently turn Kim's head and support it with my hands so she can see.

Marianna has been led to a prepared stage and she lays face down on it with her arms out straight from her shoulders. Two security guys handcuff both her wrists to the ring bolts at the edges of the stage - her arms stretched out tight now. Billy, the one who will do the gutting, straps a restraint on her ankles securing both together and hooks a chain that hangs from an overhead pulley to the restraint's ring. As Billy steps back and begins to hoist her legs up, one of the security guys inserts a ball gag in Marianna's mouth and tightens the strap around the back of her head.

Billy hoists her legs high, until her belly is stretched out tight - Marianna is in a perverse cruciform position, with her upper chest on the stage floor, her arms stretched out to her sides, and her cheek laying flat on the stage facing us. Her brow is knit in a grimace so it's obvious the position is painful.

Billy picks up a large heavy knife.

"Ready?" he asks her.

"mm-hmm" Marianna assents as best she can around the gag and presses her belly outward. She really wants this.

Without giving her any further preparation, Billy thrusts the knife deep in Marianna's belly just under her sternum and her body jerks hard. She clenches her fists and starts shaking - we see her belly, bum, and thigh muscles tighten and quiver. Billy strains as he pulls the knife upward, opening her gut in a series of hard tugs - each one violently jerking her body. Marianna is grimacing, making guttural straining sounds as Billy opens her belly from sternum to mound - her breathing is ragged and spastic and spit sprays from around the sides of the ball gag when she grunts. It only takes a few seconds for Billy to do the deed, but for Marianna I'm sure it felt like hours.

When Billy is done, he steps back and away to let nature take its course. There is a silent moment as Marianna hangs trussed and quivering, then it appears she collects herself and relaxes the straining muscles of her stomach. Her belly sags once more and her wound opens and her viscera slides and slithers out of her - her intestines uncoiling and plopping onto the stage floor. As her belly empties itself, Marianna's eyes open and she stares at nothing. Her mouth opens and she lets out a breathy moan while her body quivers and shudders. She remains like that, breathing wetly around her gag, with her eyes rolling up in her head then refocusing over and over. It takes a good 5 minutes for eyes to finally glaze over as she dies.

"... holy fuck ..." Kim says breathlessly and turns to look into my eyes. I can see the fear and the lust mixed in her expression. I lean in and kiss her hard, our mouths open and our tongues entwining. Her mouth is cool and wet and her kiss is hungry and wanton. Watching Marianna has sexually excited her - no doubt bringing back the lust she felt as a fluffer last year. The lust that drove her to agree to her one year contract. The lust that drives us all. After a few moments of passionate kissing, feeling Kim's body writhing in the grips of the four men who still hold her ankles and wrists, and after the crowd gathers around us once more, I break off ...

"Let's do this, baby." I whisper breathlessly.

Kim's eyelids are drooping as she meets my gaze and she nods and closes them. I raise my head and signal Serge to start - I mouth the word 'Slow' and he nods.

"Look at me, Kim." I say, studying her face. She opens her eyes. "Lift your bum. Arch your back and lift your bum."

She does, and looking over her shoulder I see the tight little round globes of her bum rise up a bit. Serge lowers the spit and carefully brings it to her. I watch her face.

She stares, then gives a little gasp as the spit centers on her anus. Her brow furrows and she holds her breath as Serge presses it inward.

"Push out, Kim. Open your body and let it in." I say, stroking her cheek. I see Serge press deeper and Kim moans. He presses deeper and she whimpers then shudders.

"... oh fuck ..." she whispers, closing her eyes.

"Is it deep?" I look up at Serge and he points to his own belly to show me it's only about six inches into her.

"... uh-huh ..." she says, her eyelids drooping a little, and I can see she's trying to relax to get used to the penetration. I knew that the thickness wouldn't bother her much - when I was fluffing her, I fingered her pussy and her anus and got her nice and loose.

"Feel good?" She better be feeling good; I'm a damned good fluffer and kept her squirming on the edge of orgasm for over half an hour just before she freaked

"... uh-huh ..." she murmurs and squirms slightly. I smile; I knew her horny would come back as soon as we started - she still has endorphins and dopamine in her system.

I nod to Serge who starts fucking her with it. Serge slides it out then back in and starts a nice steady rhythm and I slide my right hand under her chest, palm upward and find her nipples again. They're puckered now - tight and firm. I pinch and twirl them the way I discovered she likes.

She lays her head down on the bed once more and closes her eyes. Her voice is low and husky - she's loving being fucked. Horny little thing - just the way I want her. Fuck the misogynist sadists in the audience, she deserves to enjoy her last moments.

"... oh god ... oh god ... oh fuck ..." her voice breathy.

Lean close, kissing her cheek, her ear.

"You like it, baby?" I whisper in her ear, "You want more?"

"... uh-huh ..."

I look up and meet Serge's gaze. I signal him with my left hand, making a "come here" sign with my fingers indicating to go deeper. Serge nods and on the next stroke he slows it right down and pushes the spit further into her. Her reaction is instant ...

"Oh!" she gasps and lifts her head, her mouth open and her cute pink tongue laying on her lower lip. Over her shoulder I see her back is still arched and her bum is now clenching. I look at Serge and he removes his left hand for a second to point to his own belly indicating the spit tip is about two inches below her belly button. He's holding it steady there waiting for her bum to unclench. Once it does, he'll know it's okay to start fucking her with it again.

"... fuck ... fuck ... fuck ..." she is gasping.

"Shhhh ..." I sooth her as I stroke her face and hair with my left hand and play with her left nipple - the one I discovered was more sensitive - with my right, "It's okay, baby. Just let that feeling settle in."

"... too deep ... it's too deep ..." she gasps and I think; Deep? You ain't felt nothing yet. But instead I say; "I know, honey. You can take it ... let your belly settle around it. Relax your bum."

I know that the spit has opened her rectal valves and is stretching it out - the valves are actually called Houston Valves and there are three of them. Plus it's putting a lot of pressure on her vagina and her uterus - that's one thing most guys don't understand about women; we have a lot more meat packed in our pelvic cradle making deep anal action twice as difficult and sometimes overhwelming for us. I know that when I get fucked deep anally, it takes a while to get full penetration, and when his cock or my dildo is pounding away in there, I can actually see my uterus bulging my lower belly outward.

I watch Kim's bum muscles unclench and she arches her back a bit more as best she can, still being pinned down by the four guys. Serge nods at me and starts stroking her again.

Kim's eyebrows lift and her mouth opens and forms a sweet oval as she takes a long breath in. Yep - she's grooving on it. I twirl her nipple as a reward.

She's starting to pant now and little micro-expression flicker across her face; pain, fear, lust, pleasure, bliss. I know what she's feeling because I've felt it - all fluffers can volunteer to experience the non-lethal parts of the various methods of death. I've been hanged and strangled to unconsciousness; had a short incision made in my lower belly and had someone penetrate me there with their finger and play with my intestines - I even let them pull a small loop out before they packed it back in and stitched me up. I've also had my cervix opened during a thin rod vaginal impalement and my rectum opened in a thicker anal one.

This part of the impalement is vital to do slowly [unless you want to cause major internal cramping] because it's all about allowing her rectum time to relax and open up completely. See, the rectum has three valves that need to open before the spit can access the Sigmoid Colon - the big bend that needs to be straightened out so the spit can slide all the way up the descending colon. I know what this feels like - it's a mixture of sensations as your rectum is opened and once the tip is into the Sigmoid colon, the sensations are wild - this is the part where you truly feel the invasiveness of the penetration - the spit is entering places that nothing has ever entered. It makes you feel violated and fragile - and you really start to feel that this penetration could cause some serious damage, while at the same time shivers are traveling up and down your body. Serge is a master and right now he's thrusting slowly and opening her Sigmoid as gently as he can.

Kim is struggling with it, lowering her head, whimpering, gasping, and I can tell the instant her Sigmoid opens and the tip of the spit slides up inside it - she lifts her head and her eyes and mouth open wide and she cries out loudly. It is a shock to the senses to feel that penetration - to actually feel your bowels being moved inside you - your Sigmoid straightening out and being pulled from the left side of your belly to the centre.

Serge stops the in and out movement and slowly presses the spit deeper into her belly, wanting to completely straighten her Sigmoid but not enter her Descending colon yet.

"Ah!" Kim cries out, her face grimacing, not in pain but in fear. I know what she's feeling, like I said before - it doesn't hurt when done by a master like Serge, but it does make you feel vulnerable and weak to be penetrated so deep.

"Shhhh-sh-sh-sh-sh." I soothe her, stroking her cheek, "It's okay, baby. Just relax and let Serge get it in there. You're okay. Nothing bad is going to happen during this part and it's going to feel really good in a few seconds."

I'm not sure if Kim hears me or not; She staring straight ahead and not seeing anything, I'm sure. She's being overwhelmed by the invasion of her lower bowel. Serge works it a bit deeper and I watch as Kim's eyes roll up in her head and her body shudders. I look at her bum and thighs and see shiver-bumps spread across them.

That's it - she's now in total bliss and Serge knows it because he starts slowly stroking in and out. He makes shallow strokes at first - maybe a couple inches, and over time he lengthens them as her bowels become looser. I glance up at him and he frees one hand and points to a spot just above his own belly button to show me how deep the tip is reaching.

Kim closes her eyes and lays her head down, lost in these feelings inside her. Her back is still arched and she's still holding her bum up for the spit. I crane my neck and look at her belly and am pleased at what I see - She's pressing her lower belly outward, plumping it, which means she's accepted the penetration and invasion of her bowels. If I didn't know better, I would put her at four months pregnant. She is laying completely relaxed in the security guys' holds, her body quivering, her breathing coming in shuddering gasps.

"... f-fuck me ... f-fuck me ... f-f-fuck me ..." she moans - her voice choppy from her trembling and drool wetting the sheet under her parted lips . And Serge does fuck her - deep and steady, increasing the length of the strokes from a couple inches to almost a full foot of polished steel sliding in and out of her anus. I slide my right hand further under her until the flat of my hand is on her belly, just above her belly button. Her belly muscles are loose and relaxed so I can feel the spit moving inside her, sliding in and out, bulging her insides above my hand. I lean down and kiss her cheek, her ear, her nose.

"Good job, baby." I whisper, "You're doing so good, honey ... so good."

"f-f-f-feels good." she gasps weakly, "... like a ... like an orgasm that ... never peaks and never ends."

"I know, honey. Enjoy it ... let it penetrate deep." As I speak softly to her I can feel Serge pressing the spit a little deeper with each thrust - not by much, maybe a millimeter. I look up at him and smile and he winks at me.

Serge truly is a master and this is the best way to impale a woman - moving ever so slowly deeper until it is time to start penetrating through bowel and stomach walls. Making sure she is overwhelmed by her sexual arousal and her bloodstream is flowing thick with endorphins and all the other sexual hormones that can reduce us to quivering, slippery, sexual creatures who stink of sex and sweat and are willing to die for these sensations.

Kim really is a beautiful girl - her skin is pale and flawless and soft, her jaw delicate, her lips full and her nose small with a slight elfish upturned tip. Her hair is auburn and her eyes are a deep grey-green. She is svelte with ample breasts for her slight size. Any man would consider her a trophy ... hell, even I would consider her a trophy - I'd take her home and make love to her all night. I feel privileged to have been the one chosen to fluff her tonight - her body was very responsive and her pussy tasted sweet and rich.

I feel the tug of sadness that she is about to die and I know that once she's gone, I'm going to need some time alone to grieve her loss. I feel tears threatening and a lump starts to build in the back of my throat. I shake my head to clear it - this is no time for emotions - those can come later. I have to remain focused on my task - to help Kim die and to put on a show for the crowd that has grown tight around us.

As I was lost in my thoughts, I have felt Serge pressing the spit deeper and deeper. I can now feel the lump of it sliding across my hand and finishing its inward travel a couple inches below her sternum. Serge has managed to gently move her Descending colon from its home on the left side of her abdomen to the centre of her belly. He is now fucking her belly almost completely - from her anus all the way to the pocket under her stomach sac.

Kim has been responding to this slow invasion of her body; She is moaning in time with each slow, deep thrust; Her skin is shiny with perspiration; I can smell the sharp, pungent sweat from her armpits and the musky, earthy scent of her sweat damp hair. I can also smell her sex strongly. I can't see it, but I'm sure that the sheet under her crotch is soaked with her secretions and that her pussy is oozing her clear mucus.

Soaked too is the sheet under her face - partially from her sweaty face, but mostly from the drool that is flowing from her slack open mouth. I lean down and kiss her cheek - it is hot and flushed and slick with sweat.

I glance up at Serge who gives me an impatient look that says; 'Well?' and I know what that look means.

It's time for Kim to complete her impalement.

I slide my hand out from under her, taking the opportunity to stroke her nipples one last time. She doesn't appear to notice. I resettle myself so our faces are close and stroke my right hand across her back and shoulders and slide my left under her cheek, to raise her head.

"Kim? Honey?" I say softly. Her eyelids flutter open and her eyes try to focus - she is delirious with sexual arousal, and I'm sure she's lost track of where she is. "Kim? You have to listen to me, now."

Kim looks into my eyes and her face tells me of her confusion. Serge is still stroking in and out of her, maintaining the full slow penetration of her belly.

"It's time to lower your bum, honey. Straighten your back." I say as I brush the hair from her cheek. I can see that she is confused by my request, so I stretch my arm out, sliding my hand over the hollow of her lower back and gently press down on her firm bum.

"Come on, sweetheart, Lay flat now."

Kim's brow furrows in her delirium and confusion. She lifts her gaze and looks at the faces of the crowd gathered around us then back at me. I watch as she realizes what is about to happen. Her face tightens and tears well in here eyes.

"Nooo ... please no!" she whines weakly.

I lean close, our lips touching, my hand stroking her back.

"Shhhhhh ... it's okay, honey. It's okay. I'm here. I won't leave you." I wrap my hands around her head, cradling it, pulling her face to mine, kissing her, "Flatten out now, baby. Take a deep breath."

"I'm scared." she whimpers in a small, childlike voice.

"I know, baby. But it's going to be okay."

She draws a deep shuddering breath and I feel her body move as she flattens herself on the bed.

"Kiss me." I whisper passionately and pull her face close, my lips pressing tight against hers, our mouths open - hers wet and warm.

".... mmmph ..." she whimpers desperately in my mouth and her lips tighten as Serge lowers the spit to line it up and slides it deep and holds it. I press my lips tighter on hers, knowing what is about to happen.

I'm sure Serge demonstrated the style of spit he is using to the audience before we got here, and I've seen it before. The tip of the spit is rounded and slightly tapered for the bowel insertion to this point, but without a sharpened tip, there is no way to penetrate the colon and then the stomach sac itself. People don't realize how tough that flesh really is. So the tip of this type of spit is hollow - there's a small hole in the end with nicely rounded and polished edges. This hole is the end of a barrel that runs the length of the spit. At the other end is a trigger valve and a metal bottle of highly compressed air. Inside the barrel, being held at the butt end of the spit is a thin shaft tipped with a razor sharp arrow - it looks like a miniature hunting arrow; picture 4 tiny exacto knives welded together so their points converge in the middle.

What Serge is about to do is pull the trigger which will release a blast of compressed air inside the sealed shaft and drive that razor sharp arrow down the barrel of the spit at about a 1000 feet per second. The tip will instantly cut an "X" in her colon and the spring will pull it back down the barrel and reset it for him to do the same when he's ready to penetrate her stomach sac.

I sense the four security guys tighten their grips and pull her arms and legs tight. I too hold her tight, and keep my lips locked on hers, but I make sure my tongue is clear of her teeth in case she bites.

" .... mmmmmm ..." Kim starts to whine in my mouth as she tries to twist.


"Ngunh!" Kim grunts hard, her wind blowing past the seal of our lips and her body jerks violently. She twists her face away from me, her brows knit tight, her mouth drawn tight.

Serge presses the spit deeper, pushing the tip through the cross cut made in her colon. Kim is shaking badly now.

"Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-oh-god!" she cries out and squirms in the grips of the four men, "Make it stop!" she wails. And I know this part is bad, so all I can do is hold her and stroke her face and back. I know the pain will subside, I just have to give her time.

It only takes a few seconds and her cries are reduced to plaintive whimpers. I continue to soothe her, massaging her neck and stroking her cheek as she works her body, feeling Serge lining the spit up for the second shot.

Seeing she is calmer, I lean in and kiss her cheek again watching her for signs that Serge has found the right spot inside her. She is again panting, holding her chin up off the bed, staring at the legs of the audience gathered to watch. Her eyelids are drooping - she mist be exhausted.

What I'm waiting for comes at last. She gasps and holds her breath - her expression one of bewilderment and dark wonder. I watch as her jaw quivers and drool flows clear and pure from her lower lip. She slowly dry heaves, her stomach curling in reaction to the spit being pressed up against it from within.

She turns slightly, and looks at me sideways, her face now showing determination and resignation. She tries to smile but it falters on her lips.

"... this is it ..." she gasps wetly.

"Yes, sweetheart. This is it." I say gently, again brushing the hair out of her eyes, "I'll stay with you. I promise I won't leave you."

She closes her eyes and swallows hard, then nods. She opens her eyes and meets my gaze and whispers her final words;

"Kiss me?"

I cradle her face in my hands and pull her tight to my lips once more. We kiss deeply and with more passion than I've ever kissed before. And I hold her tight, never wanting to let her go. Wanting her to feel me holding her and loving her.


She jerks hard and her mouth opens in a grimace and her eyes squeeze shut. I feel her body being moved on the bed as Serge pushes the spit through the new incision into her stomach sac.

"... glurph ..." she gags and squirms, twisting her head away from me. She tucks her chin and heaves up a string of bile then coughs wetly. I can see her throat working as the spit is forced up into the bottom of her gullet. Her body begins to tremble, then shake and she jerks her arms and tries to kick her legs, but she's too weak now and the security guys easily hold her in position.

"... glurph ... glurph..." Kim clenches her teeth and hisses her breath through them, spraying spittle as she does. And I see the bulge appear in the hollow where her throat meets her chest. I slide my left hand under her chin and my right at the base of her neck.

"Lift your chin, honey." I say as gently as I can, "Lift your chin and open your mouth."

Kim lifts her chin, supported by my hand, but her teeth remain clenched. I can see her throat working as she desperately tries to swallow the spit back down.

"Open your mouth, Kim. You have to open your mouth." my voice is almost pleading - I've seen girls have their front teeth shattered doing this before and I don't want that for her. But as I watch her throat thicken as the spit slides up her gullet, everything changes for her.

I don't know what she felt, but suddenly her eyes open wide and I watch the root of her tongue pushed up by the spit and her mouth opens slowly, like she's about to puke. A flood of drool flows over her lower lip and down her chin, running down onto my hand cupping her face. As it flows down my wrist, I see small streaks of blood in the pure clear saliva. Her eyelids droop once more as she adjusts her neck - turning her head slightly from side to side, experimenting with how it feels. At last she straightens herself as the tip of the spit slides across her tongue and out past her parted lips.

It appears as though in the last few seconds, she accepted the spit and her impending death. I watch her face and see an expression of resigned wonder there.

"Let her go." I say to the security guys and they do.

Kim slowly draws her arms under her body and rolls toward her right side and I see her intention and help her. I ease her over onto her back, her arched neck forcing her head to hang off the end of the bed. As we all watch, her legs stretch out and she wraps them around the length of the spit, her ankles crossing and holding it tight. Her hands form little fists that she slides down her body until her wrists are tight against her belly. Her body is rigid - completely penetrated by hard unyielding steel, but it jerks and quivers as though she wants to curl into a ball but can't. Her fists are shaking as she holds them tight to her belly.

I slide my body against hers, hoping she can feel me, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tightly. I feel her moving, hear the soft gurgling in her throat and belly. I hold her for a long time, kissing her cheek, her ear, her neck and it takes a long time for her to die.

I can only guess that the audience is moved by what they just witnessed, because they are silent as they all drift away to watch other deadly delights.

As I hold Kim's quivering body, and even after she dies and is still, I think of my own year ahead of me and how it will end and I decide to change my preferred method. I was planning on being hanged - the easiest way to die - but in honour of Kim, I think I will choose to be impaled by Serge.

It will make a nice tribute, I think. Plus I'm overcome by the need to know what she felt at the end that made her accept it so peacefully.